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maanantaina, lokakuuta 31, 2005
Onko mitään mukavampaa kuin lähteä lomille. No, ei! :D OIJOIJOIJOI! Im so happy, yes so happy, Im the happiest grrl in the worrld! I had lousy weekend at station and had to be there one hour longer than usually cause we changed clocks back to winter time. WHAT A NIGHTMARE! ;) 6 days off, lotsa do, birthday and everything...gotta search for a job, go to Kela and so on, meet friends, relatives, work with my homepage, try to get my computer together, re-decorate my room a bit, relax and sleep. Also a lot things that I will not list here cause Im lazy, tired cause I havent slept a lot in weekend. I feel like Im drunk. Haha. I have nothing to do, but I have to wait for 2h and then I hit the road. Luvely.
maanantaina, lokakuuta 31, 2005
perjantaina, lokakuuta 28, 2005
One day I fly away ...
Gosh how much I want travel. To Berlin, Around the europe, hike around in Scotland, work somewhere...Go somewhere warm just to hang and relax. Its grey and snowy around. I dont have fever but damn Im having a ass kicking irritating flu which will make my weekend a bliss. I will be stucked at weatherstation. I already feel like I could sleep for a year but no. I wish I dont sleep over any Synops.
Its Samhain. Whee. I cannot celebrate it at all.
Rammstein published Rosenrot today and its at home waiting for me at monday but I WANT IT NOW! I hate that I get sms's from friends who listen it already and bohoo...DAMN.
Gotta go now, to station. Over and out.
perjantaina, lokakuuta 28, 2005
keskiviikkona, lokakuuta 26, 2005
On niin valkoista, että sattuu. Kaunista. Joskus maailmassa vaan on niin paljon kauneutta, että tunnen räjähtäväni palasiksi. Kuulostaa American Beauty shaibalta, mutta ollut yksi sanonnoistani kyllä pitkälti ennen moista elokuvaakin (joka on muuten aikas hyvä!) ...
On kuin olisi joulu. Viikonloppua kohden luvannut, että lumi sulaisi. Yli 14h satanut ja lunta kertynyt jo jotakuinkin 10cm. Voi voi. Huvittavaa katsella kun jengi kaatuilee, spolle partio vetää voltteja pyöriensä kanssa ja kuinka kaikkialla huokuu hiljainen rauha. Päivä ollut kovin tuulinen ja myrskyinen, mielummin olisi ollut kotona, tehnyt kotijuttuja, lukenut, ollut kisun kanssa, ollut jonkun ihanan ihmisen vieressä, kattonut yksin leffoja ja kuunnellut musaa tai ihan mitä vaan. KOTONA. Ihana päästä kotia maanantaina 6 päivää. Olen niin onnellinen. Mua muuten pyydettiin TAAS yhden bändikisan tuomaristoon, sama juttu viime vuonna, sama posse kuin viime vuonna. Ihan vapaaehtois pohjalta taasen. Mutta se on mukavaa se. Hitto kun aika koneella taas juoksee, pitäisi tehdä sata asiaa. Mutta ei. Rammsteinin sivut uudistuneet tänään ja siellä olisi joku live chatti Paulinkin kanssa, mutta kun täällä menee sodet kiinni joten ei pääse seurailemaan. Ajattelin mennä puntille, sitten suihkuun, katsoa telsua, nukkua ja mennä asemalle aamulla.
Studio julmahuvista on tullut dvd boxi! Sincitystä tulee joulumarkkinoille kahden dvd:n setti missä toinen levy yhtä suurta extraa! Drool. Jos en olisi armeijassa tienaisin ihan sikana ja sitten ostaisin nuo ja nukkuisin ne kainalossa. Juu, näin juuri tekisin! Ihan varmaan! Maanantaina sovittelin takkeja turun jokaisessa ihan missä kaupassa vain ja pari vain sopi. Sitten löytyi se täydellinen. En olekkaan etsinyt talvitakkia tässä kuin tuota noin niin 5v melkein. No sitten löyty sellainen joka mahtui päälle, istui selästä ja hihoista etc niin mitä vittiä - eli 200e. Nyt mietin mistä saisin rahat, niitä oli vain yksi S koko Zarassa. Ja XL. Harmittaa, ahdistaa. Se olisi vuosikausia se takki. Edellinen kesti 8 vuotta. Hitto vie. Pitäisi varmaan lainata vaikka mummolta. Olen nähnyt unia siitä takista. Ostin h&M:stä sellaisen perus talvitakin, ei mikään kummonen, vapaa-ajan takki...mutta toi olisi silleen siistimpi, pidempi villakangas takki jota etsinyt iät ja ajat. Vituttaa jo valmiiksi että varmasti jos saisin koottua mania siihen niin se olisi tuurini mukaan mennyt ja harmittelen sitä seuraavat vuodet. Nyt jo vituttaa valmiiksi. Olen niin pygmi että koskaan löydä sopivia vaatteita ja sitten kun löytyy niin ei. Äer. Mutta joo -> salille marsh!
keskiviikkona, lokakuuta 26, 2005
Im dreaming of a white
Oh its amazing how much happier one can be when there's snow on the ground! Even thought weather is horrible - it rains like hell and wind is blowing so hard that I can hardly get towards while walking somewhere. Oh well. Everything is white. At night it started to rain at 4.20am while I was at nightshift. Before that wind started to blow more than 15s per minute and maximum speed was over 35s! Greeat. When I went outside my ears where right away full of snow! 8) Gosh! You should see how its get wilder outside all the time! I feel like I dont even want to go to lunch cause I should walk 15m outdoors. Ok, Im not made of sugar, but im so petite that I afraid that wind catch me.
At evening I got strange phonecall to station. First I was quite sure that it was a prank call (cause Eka co. with little help of Eric from Leeds made a prank call year ago to Utti's weatherstation...long story!) but seemed that this quy was really serious. Dunno about that but tried to help him as well I could. He (I think he was Danish, cannot remember thought!) wanted to know can he use "our" runway and airport at wednesday noon. They had this ambulance plane and they needed a place to land in their way somewhere. I tried to help him as well that I could but he had most unuseful time to call cause there was no airtraffic-control people at work anymore and tower was closed already! Poor guy. "But I need to make a flightplan today and know which airport we can use!" - Sorry but most of the military fields are already closed, call at morning! "Can you give me a permission, We would land approximately at 10 to 11 am tomorrow!" - Sorry, Im just a weathergirl! ... I told him that he called to Halli's weatherstation and he said that he have called everywhere but I was the only one who answered. Oh weel, seemed like that I helped a little and he said thanks and goodbye. Nice fellow. Its so stormy here so I wonder will they come here today...Interesting. Im glad that I was in shift and got a change to use English again. I mean - I had to change in english in snap and it went well. I didnt have to search any words or so. I even used military / aviation slang.
Weekend at station and then Im off to 6 days holiday home. I really need a bit of time for get my life together, search work, meet friends, sleep, be at home ...AND celebrate my bday!!
2 days 'til Rammstain release Rosenrot. I have pre-order it so I wish that it waits me at home at monday. Sigh. Te quiero puta!
Yesterday I was so tired whole day thought ... Now even thought I havent got any sleep I feel very sappy -> SNOW! White! It will melt til weekend but whatevaa I luv it! <3 I love my life at the moment. I got nice msg's from Malla, friend since childhood and started to write her a letter last night. I miss her so much, she's one of the only friends that have been there years. Ok, now lunch.
keskiviikkona, lokakuuta 26, 2005
perjantaina, lokakuuta 21, 2005
Rainy grey day. Just got off from station and went to lunch. Now to have a little nap and then shower - ready to take off to weekend at home! Whee. Happy. Then I will spend again two weeks here in a row. GAAH. 8) Oh well, Im use to it - I think. Bunch of great guys left to RUK today. I hate the fact that Im not there with 'em, but that's how it goes. I get over it! ;) Weekend with Somebody and friends will burst me full of energy and life again.
perjantaina, lokakuuta 21, 2005
torstaina, lokakuuta 20, 2005
Nein ich hab' keine lust
Ich bleibe einfach liegen
Und wieder zähle ich die Fliegen
Lustlos fasse ich mich an
Und merke bald ich bin schon lange kalt
So kalt, mir ist kalt . . .
Its dark outside. Daddy-O called me last night and said that it was snowing up there in Sotkamo. Beautiful. Well, at Kuorevesi we only got drizzle rain. Seems like clouds are getting lighter and moving away. Im having a day off after night shift at station and I feel extremely heavy and tired. I really really look forward of weekend cause Im getting megalomanicly tired. Somebody is coming over today and Johanna will spend few days with him before I get home. Hopefully he's ok. I also need to see friends. This will be AGAIN my only few days off for awhile, then again two weeks in a row here and then 6days at home and birthday at 3th November! Whee. Thought I hate birthdays, no-one never remember it (few friends and my sister of course cause she's 1 minute younger than I am)...I need to think something special for myself.
Oh well. My mood is slowly rising when Im moving towards weekend. Im still feeling awful 'bout RUK but that's my life. No can do. There is other paths. I hope. It is just that I dont normaly want anything that bad and it was a crashing news cause I was secretly sure that I might have a change. OH WELL!
How's everybody?
torstaina, lokakuuta 20, 2005
keskiviikkona, lokakuuta 19, 2005
Its grey and dark outside. Im kinda tired and I dont even know why. Maybe cause Im so disappointed about one thing in my life, but within time I will get over it. Im sure that Im silly that I take it so hard, but I wanted it so much. SO much. But that's life with me, I quess that even if I want something so bad and go towards it - put my mind to it 100% I will never get there. It sometimes makes so hard to believe that "You can do everything you want to do!" makes a deal. Right now even "Everything has a meaning" or "its a fate" sounds like a bullshit. Oh well...
My serving in military will end in few months. What will I do then? I should be searching for a work already but I dont even have a time to do that! I also grieve to get some holiday but I need money to live too. I dont have any idea what to do. Im too tired to think about anything. I wanted to get in jälkiRUK so much that now I've lost all the ambition about everything.
keskiviikkona, lokakuuta 19, 2005
Komppania ihan tyhjä. Where is everyone. Someone left me sleep over 6am and now Im trying to get myself awake.
keskiviikkona, lokakuuta 19, 2005
tiistaina, lokakuuta 18, 2005
Räjähti. Miten voi aina pettyä niin helvetisti.
tiistaina, lokakuuta 18, 2005
maanantaina, lokakuuta 17, 2005
Is autumn doing creeping out from me?
Long time no entry. Sorry about that! I've been far away in a dark woods having war against the world with a group of tough privates that saved the universe from a great bad. No...not really, but I had great time at outdoor rehersal that we had last week. From monday to friday I mostly just watched around and put down everything that privates did. We had to rate everything they did. Mostly everything that had something to do with leading. Nights where cold, few of 'em where so beautiful. I took lotsa pics, mostly at days cause I didnt have tripod for camera. Clear nights where full of stars! I havent got a change to see so much stars in ages. I was so happy. At wednesday ylik. Hokka suddenly put me to train privates and I was in shock. Subject wasnt very familiar to me but it went very well! I got good feedback from him. I didnt sleep much in the camp, I had lousy place, rock under my back and so on. Also Im always so "worried" that I peek from my sleeping back that is everything going ok. ;) Well, it was mostly what I had to do in whole rehersal. Also we had few alarms per night so I had to go and see how they manage lead the strike on their own. Great fun anyway. I enjoyed whole week A LOT. I love to be outdoors and weather where great all the time. Nights where clear, days where foggy and again at afternoon it started to get clear. Moon came up at wednesday and it glowed every night, magical. <3 At friday after big fight I got a lift back to company and took quick shower etc. Suddenly I found myself again from the weatherstation deathtired and fluish. Whole weekend was a battle between me and sleep. Few times my tiredness took over. Gaah! Im death tired still but too anxious to go to sleep cause in very few hours I will hear about jälkiRUK...
At friday it startedt to rain and in saturday we had HUGE storm! Wind blowed from 15-18s and maximum wind was 27s! I run around the yard picking up the stuff that floaded around since wind turned over our garbagebins! Saturday I used my never ending time to singing out loud for hours, writing lyrics and stuff and reading magazines. Sunday I just wached telly, worked out and waited for Harju to bring my new Soundi magazine on his way back to company. It had a huge article about Rammstein! <3 !!
Its grey outside and very cold, like 1.5 degrees. So it seems that autumn is finally entirely here. At next weekend I get home for few days. I can hardly wait. Friday I meet some friends at Tampere and then I spend time at home chilling. Somebody is also coming home for few days cause Senni is going to Helsinki for her Autumn vacation! Somebody! I wish he will be happy to be back at his real home for awhile. I love the idea of having him over! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY! Purr.
maanantaina, lokakuuta 17, 2005
sunnuntaina, lokakuuta 09, 2005
Week at woods ahead. So dont worry if I dont write here...
GAAH. And then weekend at weatherstation so it might be over a week without nothing online about me...sniff.
sunnuntaina, lokakuuta 09, 2005
keskiviikkona, lokakuuta 05, 2005
Kurkiaura
Kuinka mahtava pv. Hirveä kiire kun tossa jonossa jengiä koneille, ahdistaa kun kekänä kirjoittaa mitiä järkevää. Seuraillut satojen kurkien päätöksen teon vaikeutta (ja lentotoiminnan häirintää) koko päivän asemalla. Jokseenkin mahtavaa. Pilvitön ilma ja 16 astetta lämmintä. Nyt kaikki iltavapailla tai jossain muualla. Yksin täällä päkittelen tylsistyneenä yleisesti. Asemalla yksin ja täällä niin tulee hulluksi. Huomenna päivällä asemalle ja perjantaina päivällä pois. HUOH. Sitten ajattelin tehdä jotain en tiedä mitä. Levoton olo. Syvän levoton olo. Energiaa, turhautuneisuutta. JEP gotta go.
keskiviikkona, lokakuuta 05, 2005
tiistaina, lokakuuta 04, 2005
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHANNA!!!
tiistaina, lokakuuta 04, 2005
Yksi väsynyt taistelija ...
Gosh. Feels like Im high or something. I took few hours nap just awhile ago but It only made me even more tired. Its beautiful autumn day outside. Anyway, had great dinner few minutes ago and now having a coffee brake at Sotilaskoti. Im feeling happy inside and even thought Im death tired it doesnt matter at all. SUNNY! I just luv autumn. Strange - there are test to guys and girls who want to come in january as recruits. Everyone stares me "Woo look, a woman soldier!" - Im kinda use to it but sometimes it stills makes me feel like I want to disappear. Ppl have always stared me but with army clothing...like one private from AUK who goes in same train with me to holidays always say "You are in the spotlight!". He always laughs when mans go grazy. :P Or ppl comes to talk to me. I dont have to be alone at train if I dont want to hahah. Anywayz...
Had great weekend! First at friday I went to have a pint with Senni. I was SO tired that I could hardly drink it. Then I went home to sleep and slept long. At saturday I just relaxed. Slept long, went to city, looked for a new wintercoat (but as we already can imagine - nothing found!) and went home to do the loundry. Eka came and I cooked a dinner for us. Later on I downloaded good music and took long shower while got myself ready for girls night! We didnt planned to go OUT, just have drinks at Senni's. I was broke as ever but somehow we managed to get ourselves to night club, I got new drinks and we danced danced danced! We took silly pictures which you can see down there. Charlys angels...8) Sigh, I managed to make myself a total ass later at night (or Im not sure, but Im sometimes quite hard to myself?) but gladly everything went well...Im not use to be jealous or something like that. Quite Amusing. At sunday I slept long, watched telly and ate lotsa cappuchino ice cream and junk food! Took train back here. Tadah, same shit every goddamn sunday, almost.
At train my stepmother called after long while! Had great conversation with her, Im so happy that everything is going SO well up there at home! I miss Daddy-o and Virpi + pets SO MUCH that it hurts. Im sure that nature is beautiful there at this time of year, dark, starry sky...Sigh. Home. We talked about all kind of stuff and then again before we quited there came to sad news. One our friend had made a suicide. Again. Blown his brains out. And I noticed that I didn't feel anything (Ok, now Im lying here) ... He wasnt really close friend but I knew him and this news bring up all the feelings that I've placed aside during a year or two when I've lost few very close person who killed themselves and few just natural ways. I cannot belive it. Faces disappears and Im not sure who is alive and how's dead when I go back home! Im tired of questions WHY? YOUNG People! I feel like going somewhere, watch the sea and scream to wind. I sat at bus from Tampere to Jämsä and Rammstein was in my headphones so loud that my head hurted. I felt so desperate and empty. While I've been in army I've had to say goodbye to 3 person - one is grandad. AND IM TIRED OF IT cause I dont know how to do it! I just push it aside and forget it. Tadah, nothing ever happend life goes ever after lalalaa. 8) Sigh, forgive me this burst. Im so angry inside that my hands start to shake. Hahaa! "Ennen oli ennen ja nyt on nyt, sedät jaksaa heilua" on the radio! :D Night at my room was restless. I didnt get any sleep - just saw imagined pictures of him without a head. Bwah. Then at morning I went to weatherstation and had lazy day there. Spend a day cathing eclipse of the sun. At night there was a 30mins of no clouds and sky was AMAZING! I could see Andromeda galazy without binoculars. Stars have always made me feel dauntless, fearless and like there's nothing to be sad about. Its my meditation. Something that never changes, you know? - Stars are there on their places. Beautiful silent sky with visitors like meteors, satellites, planets...My neck started to hurt and security chief drove to stations yard so I decided to slip inside.
What a dull entry - full of whining. Dont take it like that, please! 8) Oh well, next week will be kinda intersting. I will be at outdoors with AUK fellas. NICE! Hopefully weather is ok and we dont froze ourselves. Then I spend weekend at station. But Im exited to get stuff to do DO! I've always enjoyed training. Most of all - being outdoors. Ok, I end this lazy brainstorm here.
Ok, Some humour about our work here:
tiistaina, lokakuuta 04, 2005
sunnuntaina, lokakuuta 02, 2005
WEEKEND <3
Im in a hurry gotta rush to the shower etc but before that I need to put some new pics here!!
Me at the weatherstations kitchen room in the middle of the night looking all tired and so on. Took few days ago.
Here is the station itself.
Koju.
Sunset
Then some pictures from last night. Me, Eka and Senni had get-togerher after AGES! Very good evening. We had lotsa fun.
sunnuntaina, lokakuuta 02, 2005
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