maanantaina, maaliskuuta 28, 2005

Hard music and dark coffee

Monday. I drove around at noon, it was splendid. Just drive around for few hours. I should borrow a car more often. Its therapy. After it I was suppose to do inviting lits and cards for ½course party but Johanna took her computer to her brothers apartment which mean - no computer (with programs that I needed) ... SIGH. Now I should be take a shower, clean around. I just cooked myself a tasty meal, read to test and still, even thought Im feeling relaxed and enjoying my time alone - Im having headache. Stress. Somewhere inside. All these things I should have done! What a weekend - first Mikko and Anni brakes up. Two days of being more or less drunk. TPS loses to HPK. Its spring. Meeting stepsister and watching musicals. I feel like song coming on ...

maanantaina, maaliskuuta 28, 2005

sunnuntaina, maaliskuuta 27, 2005

Sunday of sadness about sport

Im not fanatic about hockey but I will never watch any hockey 'til next year! Fuck you TPS after losing SO easily to HPK. Why? WHY? You ruined my happy merry weekend. I hate when playoffs turns like this ... AAARGH.

I should be reading to tests that we have at tuesday morning but atm I just feel like whining. I love to take sport seriously from time to time, but I was so sure that TPS wins today, which didnt happend. ARGH. A R G H. Anyway, hopefully I meet Eka today, we can talk about weather. :D

sunnuntaina, maaliskuuta 27, 2005

keskiviikkona, maaliskuuta 23, 2005

Swooh Boredom

Yawn. Inte pengar. Väsyttää. Kaikki muut lähti pidennetyille iltavapaille mutta koska itselläni ei ole viikkokausiin eikä vieläkään penniäkään rahaa _jouduin_ jäämään kassulle. 2e lompakossa ei lämmitä paljoa kun pitäisi mennä "yhdelle" ja pitsalle. Tympäisee kun ulkona oleva fiilis kun muut lähti mestoille. No, tää on tätä. Peeaa seuraavat monta kuukautta. Rahat menee lyhentämättä laskuihin ja tälläkin hetkellä silmät vuotaa vanhojen piilareiden takia, mutta ei varaa niin mitä sille voi. ;P

Ihanaa, huomenna lomille.

Its been quite fun and interesting lately. I've been extremely ill again, the flu that I had is all over me again, but now I dont have fever anymore. We have been studying a lot all days and done nothing much more. Next week we spend at woods at camp (Im already tired even thinking about it, Im physichally very weak after having influenza twice in row) training A LOT. Blaah. Spring is getting close. Sun is starting to warm at days but nights and early mornings are still very cold. at 6am when we wake up sun is already shining. Lovely. Lovely!! Anyway, gotta go ... later then. Tomorrow to home. Im So looking forward to it. 4 free days!!

keskiviikkona, maaliskuuta 23, 2005

WEEKEND OFF 'Til tomorrow to MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOO-ooah. I can hardly wait. Its been busy here.

keskiviikkona, maaliskuuta 23, 2005

perjantaina, maaliskuuta 11, 2005

Kun maas on hanki ja järvet jäässä

Hoi. Mars mars eilen sitten oltiin Majohajolle. Olin toinen apupäivystäjä ja joskus ennen viittä kapteeni soitti ja tein hälytyksen hirveen sähläämisen päätteeksi umpiväsyneenä mitään ymmärtäen. Sitten pakattiin kenttävarustus (eli lähes kaikki mitä kaapista löytyy) ja loput romppeet päiväpeiton sisään ja alakertaan säilöön. Sitten sukset jalkaan ja menoksi. Hetki koulutusta hiien kuusessa ja iltaa / yötä kohti tuntematonta. Metsät oli kauniita mutta mennä nyt puolen sadan ihmisen kanssa ja ahkioiden kanssa kuusikoista läpi miten sattuu. Hajotti kyllä. Sitten yöllä en enää nähnyt mitään. Kaaduin satoja kertoja. Naama vieläkin turvonnut ja haavoilla rynkystä joka puhkaisi huulen, piippu kävi sieraimen sisällä ja sen sellaista mukavaa ja miellyttävää. Helevetti soikoon. SItten kunta oli paikoitellen kainaloihin asti ja kolme jätkää repi ylös kun täyspakkauksen kanssa on hyvin vaikea nousta. Halat vieläkin maitohapoilla ja olo hirveä. Loppusuoralla sitten petti ruho - nestehukka ja alilämpöä -> taju meni ja veksiin. Yön sitten vietin osastolla ja nyt voin pahoin kasarmilla. Todella uupelo olo, naamassa haavoja, aurinko polttanut ja kylmyys (-28 yöllä) jäätänyt. Mutta oikeasti, muuten ihan jees marssi. Koska se oli rankka niin lopulta sen, että sattui ja vitutti niin alkoi ottaa huumorilla. Jengi teki yhteystyötä ja kaveria ei jätetty millään. Maisemat (vielä kun oli valoisaa) olivat kauniit ja sen sellaista. Viikonloppu on syväjohtamisen kursseja ja varmaan lueskelen ensi viikon kokeisiin. Nyt ei pysty, meinaa nukahtaa pystyyn ja päätä särkee ihan vitusti. Muuten hyvä olla, harmittaa vaan - tod näk joudun sitten UUSIMAAN kyseisen marssin. Huoh. No sitten uusitaan. Ihan sama, tein parhaani ja vedin viimeiseen asti, toisin kuin hyvin monet.

perjantaina, maaliskuuta 11, 2005

keskiviikkona, maaliskuuta 09, 2005

Cold cold feeling

Since I woke up today we have run, changed clothing, sat in courses and ran, 10km skiing and ran again. At night starts majohajo. I BROKE MY WATCH cause at 2h of "rättisulkeiset" I had to go to shower, which I wastn aware of. To ice cold shower twice! Urgh, and then outside running, minus degrees celsious, then change clothing again and battle training and back inside to change again in few minutes. this for few hours and then we left to march. In not happy about Majohajo, but I really wait to get it done, cause then its done. My back is killing me, but hey - 55km. Im going to be all dead with backbag, battle stuff and gun, skiing and then everyone had to take something more - so Im going to carry stuff (possibly) over 50kg - which is almost as much as I weight. But :) then its done. Next tuesday Im going to laugh happily when I hit the road home. Before that I need to get some time to read A LOT for first test. Days are so busy that I dont know when study. Anyway ...

Its been very inspiration anyway. All thought Im stressed and tired but its so different. Harder in many way, loads of new stuff and its like army and university in total plash. Few days ago I didnt ever saw myself leading ppl, now today I did it first time. It was quite ... interesting. I didnt have any time to think, we where in SUCH a hurry but I think I did it quite well. Ppl just smiled when I tried to think that which way to lead them at march. Vasen vasen ...

Mukavaa. taidan juoda kupposen kahvia, mennä mestoille ja sitten joudunkin kohta päivystämään hetkeksi kun päivystäjä lähtee iltapalalle. Stressaa marssi ja se etten omaa nyt kelloa. Ja se, että olen yöllä toinen varapäivystäjä. Ja että en saa öisin unta koska stressaa. Mutta tiedän sen menevän ohi pian. Mush. Noniin. Kaffelle. Anteeksi nämä pikaiset whine viestit. Niskani takana hengittää tuhat jätkää koneelle ja on kiiru. Rus.

keskiviikkona, maaliskuuta 09, 2005

tiistaina, maaliskuuta 08, 2005

R U S

Rus rus.
Achy back but happy mind. I spend whole weekend at north with Dad and stepmother. It was very strange to go to Korholanmäki which burned before Xmas. House had same walls but half of it was new and nothing inside was the same, in a way. It was strange. But still - I was home. Slept, drink, food and relaxation. Watched lotsa movies and had long relaxing sauna sessions. Then came back here and now THE training yesterday started. Im so called "student" now. Learning and traning to be an officer. Lotsa new ppl from all around in Finland. New ppl, no more guys which with I spend last 8 weeks. Ok, they are around and we meet from time to time but everything is new. New habits, you have to lead everyone from time to time and so on. After being use to just stand at line and obey - its strange to start to lead it. But anyway, eveyrthing is quite interesting. It will be hard to - loads of reading. All my weekends will go with reading and making programmes and so on. Lotsa lotsa work, but Im having motivation. Today we had 10km skiing. tomorrow we had it too with rucksacks. Then at wed-thuesday morning (about 3-6am) starts MajoHajo march which is the march everyone afraid already. I dont want to think about it. I just want to get rid of it and then wait week for getting weekend off and HOME!!! Anyway, gotta run. laters then.

tiistaina, maaliskuuta 08, 2005

torstaina, maaliskuuta 03, 2005

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

Hello after awhile. Its ages since I wrote but I havent been able to come online in ages, its been quite hectic and I've been having most irritating flu ever! Its have ruined my last weeks around here; no high fever or so at all, just a bit of temperature which makes you weak and achy. Tomorrow is last day of basic training sequel. Then some ppl goes to train to be privates and me for example times are getting interesting to train to be officer (or so) ... ANYWAY, its been lots of grazy stuff here like sleeping outside with sleepingbag under the sky when its -25 degrees celcius and today we spend a day with napalm. Running around trying not to get burned and so on. Im too tired and excausted to make any sense. Also my head is aching cause I got a loads of tear-gas. Its not healthy. Its not nice. First time of my life I felt where my lungs ends and begings. My eyes where killing me cause I was wearing contactlenses. My skin burned and at some point I counldnt breath anymore - air didnt go in or out. I was just making horrible noise and trying to breath until I puked with whole loads of loud screaming. So, what ever. My gasmask wasnt working, others just stayed around and didnt got any of it. Well, no one wanted even to think about trying it without mask after listening and seeing me. :D Tomorrow - weekend off which Im going to spend at north with dad. Happy, I havent been there in ages. Im a bit neurvous cause last time I where there, it was my home where my roots are, the place which have never left me, which have been always the same. Home. And now, its all different after fire. They have rebuild it, there is nothing I remember. Nothing which have always been, which is save and where I can close myself to feeling that I dont have to be afraid of anymore. Im getting sentimental, forgive me - but this rootless way of living is making me think silly about things. But what would you think if all your memories fade away?

Then next week we are having Oh so scary march called MajoHajo. Its disaster. Ppl awakes us at 4am, all the lights goes off, we have to pack everything we have got in army and then we start marching for few days carrying everything we have in our closets PLUS all the tents and shit like that. YAY. But - its in first week. Then its gone and will never return to make me already "no, let me sleep - i dont WANT TO GOOOOOoo!!11"

Im missing everyone. Write me emails, sms, what ever - why this silencio.

Our team / group was basic training sequels best team and we won a day off, which was relaxing eventfull day at Peurunka. We had some sport, sauna and swimming, meal and then we hit the road to city and had a loads of pints. Thankfully we only got time til midnight and we had to wake at 5.40am tomorrow, but I have been quite tired ... ;) Now when I start to think about it, Im really unhappy about "giving up" all these ppl around me. Ok, Im going to see 'em everyday, but still. Its not the same. But changes are always good. Good. Yesh! Gotta fly! Bless.

torstaina, maaliskuuta 03, 2005

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