lauantaina, elokuuta 31, 2002

GOD Im so tired.

lauantaina, elokuuta 31, 2002

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 28, 2002

These past few days have been very hard. Today I had to cancel my cello lesson cause of that. But then I went to store, bought some fish and made a perfect meal for myself. I enjoy cooking so much. Cleaned around and tomorrow morning (I mean today) I'll get up early to get the vacuum cleaner from the closet and clean the floor...then to Lieto and then to Samba! Aaarhg Im so shaky about it. I aaargh cannot hardly wait, but I feel so very neurvous. Then after it I hop to bus to Helsinki. Then at thursday me, jdin and moppi will go to listen sibelius. Yay. Friday to Alfa. Saturday nothing. Sunday back Turku are first Muste rehersals. Im so looking forward it too :)) Busy life. Exciting.

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 28, 2002

maanantaina, elokuuta 26, 2002

Kovis! LOL (finnish only) another sick flash...When Im this tired...this is just too much...Buhahahaa...

maanantaina, elokuuta 26, 2002

Argh, 50mins of cello playing today was enough for me. Tired as I am, and this hot hot apartment makes me not really so eager to play some goddamn boring and hard bow exercise...tho, I cannot let myself to drop 'em out, cause I have lesson tomorrow, so I decided that 50mins, no less! Now my hands are quite shaky, cause it takes so much muscles to play that goddamn 'tilulilulii'...8)
Its messy here, but Its so hot that Im not really going to clean around anything today. I let myself take it easy. Maybe at tomorrow afternoon or then at wednesday morning, I will, I really will, clean this goddamn place. I havent took vacuum cleaner out from the closet in few months. Im surrounded by dust. Maybe also covered...Anyway, I had a brand new hair cut...well not much different, but I feel lighter again, its shorter and cool. Its always relaxing to meet Taru, she loves me and she've been my bad-hair-day saviour for few years now. After summer and many times of getting my hair burned under sun (on sea and so on) she wanted to get my hair better (its quite dry) and gave me one bottle of expensive hair mask! Ha! She's unbelievable...We also had fun while planning my next hair color which she will do for me at winter! :) I must get some money to do it, at november or december...yay :) Something totally different. Tehee...
Its not sunny anymore. Makes me wonder, will it rain today? Hopefully. I dont even remember last time when it was rainy. Everything is so dry. This hot never ending summer have killed all the nature around me. It have never been summer for this long, If I really can remember...
Wonder what kind of winter it will be? Cold as alaska or rainy and full of shitty waterish snow? Hopefully not. I want good 'ol real winter. Not that schaisse. I think I open the window, make myself some japanese tea and bread, put some nice music on and wait for 6pm when I can open the internet. I feel quite tired. I will have guest here after 10pm, but Im sure I'll stay awake for that long...tonight at 4am I could see very bright iridium flash from my window, if sky is clear. But I will go to sleep before 2am, so no change honey...Of course I could always put alarm clock on, but really, its not that important...-8mag? eeh...mmm.

maanantaina, elokuuta 26, 2002

I really, really should get somekind of daily rhythm in to my life. I mean...last night I slept like 16h cause I was so goddamn exausted...Now I dont feel sleepy, well a bit and Im on my way to bed all the time. Drinking japanese tea here and listening jazz. Nice. Tomorrow I will go to get my hair cut and meet Senni. I need to play some cello also and do severeal thingies...But I have a lot of clean clothes! Today I went to homehome and used washingmachine (Im sick of washing clothes by hands) and got my jeans smaller and so on. NIIIce. Argh. Mm. Nights.

maanantaina, elokuuta 26, 2002

Deidre Rodman roks! Im totally love with her music.

maanantaina, elokuuta 26, 2002

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 25, 2002

Its extremely dangerous to leave your alarm clock un-alarmed. I slept and slept. I woke up 20mins ago. There's No Business Like Show Business is on the tv, I've seen this many many times...ok one hour and my mother will come to pick me up and I go to homehome to wash some clothes etc.

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 25, 2002

What a weekend. I tell more later at today (tomorrow I was saying, but its already sunday)...Zzzz

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 25, 2002

lauantaina, elokuuta 24, 2002

Tasteless flash, but at this time of night...so funny. In finnish. Seppo & Seppo. Thanks to Vostok about this link.

lauantaina, elokuuta 24, 2002

My hair ATM - picture taken from Ursa's observatory last weekend while watching fireword finnish championship competition...
Aww, Blue moon on the sky and today was great. I tell you more later! :)) To work with that choir is hard work, a lot of smiling, happy thoughts and work! Tell you more later. Now - moon.

lauantaina, elokuuta 24, 2002

perjantaina, elokuuta 23, 2002

SUGOIII!!

perjantaina, elokuuta 23, 2002

Mm. I have to hurry, Ari will pick me up at 9am something. Oh well. Say...I'll be on the run whole weekend. So leave me something nice and dandy to my gbook! I know you want to, you schmuck...it takes just few sec. I know Im pathetic, so sue me ;)

Its sunny again. I wonder what clothes I should wear! But I think I'll have that little chrise after shower...Laters.

Yksi kahvipannu sinne tai tänne - ei kai se suuria merkitse kun ollaan etsimässä pyrstötähtiä. - Nuuskamuikkunen

perjantaina, elokuuta 23, 2002

Whaat a beautiful moorning *singing* Zzzz. Oh well, I wonder that how in earth Im this fresh and not even as much as tired I thought I could be. I woke up at the middle of the night all wet and cold. I saw some strange dream. I went to wash my face and then started to sleep again and then I saw relaxed dreams, but it felt like alarm clock started to shout right after it. I went to sleep after 1am, read Banana Yoshimoto's LIzards for moment and hit my head on the pillow. As I started, its very beautiful morning, sun is shining etc. Now I got to sip my coffee, orange juice and jogurt, run to shower and then Aaaa O-Genki Desu!? :) Äerr...Im neurvous.

perjantaina, elokuuta 23, 2002

Perfect. I just love to live alone sometimes. Mostly I think. Just few minutes ago I sat out from my window. Death silence. This area is always so peaceful at nights. Orange lights from yard, no wind...trees so beautiful. Full moon and stars at the sky. I sat there, and "my and only love" came from radio groove fm...so beautiful. All my apartment was full of peaceful harmony and beautiful shadows and colors at walls. How more perfect can moment be?

perjantaina, elokuuta 23, 2002

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

Cello lesson went pretty well. As I already guessed before that I even left to city, that It will be hell to go at music school with bus from HERE! Hot sunny day, 9kg on your back, almost as big as I am. Well first of all, one asshole busdriver closed door when I came in, so cello and I got hurted when door hitted us. Damn I was angry! Murmur. At city, miracle hitted me and my step-father came with his taxi and drove me to the school. Yay! Money saving (it takes 8e for me to go there and back with bus!) rocks. Then I went to wait inside, called to my hairdresser and got time for next tuesday! Woo. Then when I was staring walls and feeling extremely bored, listening sounds which floated from classrooms Ismo suddenly walked there. He is teacher there, I knew that, but I didnt really wait to meet him. What a pleasant suprise! Havent seen him in ages. Ismo was guitarist at The Who's Tommy Rock Opera/Musical last winter and early summer and ever since he've been my favorite person on the earth. He's so sappy. So we talked a little shitchat and he really looked happy to meet me, hugged me and so on. From all of the ppl I've really missed Irma (my cello teacher and pal), Ismo and few other musicians I've worked with, which I havent seen in ages cause Im on the move all the time...and havent had time to go to Apteekki haha :D (-which is a bar)...I also asked Ismo about his lessons (I have to go some music theory, I've forgot all! Shame on me.) and those are at the same time with Samba orchestra...hum, well we'll see about that in next wednesday then. We had nice lesson with Irma, I have next lesson in next tuesday after haircut. Felt strange to play after so long time. Year brake with studies. Also, last time when I really played was Tommy and then I had electric Cello...*sigh* that jewel...

Then somehow I got myself back home. Aa which reminds me...yesterday and today when I went to city, every time one of my old choirpal Tiia have been at the same bus, and we had nice chat. She was always one of the nicest gals in that group. But what do you know, I always hang around with guys anyway. She got apartment from Portsa, which was the area I thought when I started to search own place. Then I thought, Portsa or Verkatehdas, and at Tehdas I am now. Coolest. Im happy for her.

Aanyway, Sugoii! Im sooo neurvous about tomorrow! Im sure that every fucking japanese line will float out from my mind when I meet that gang. Gosh. Hrrr...

I've always avoided to get in orchestra. When I was little and played cello I was in many orchestra and quartet etc. Im sick of that, maybe someday, not now. But, when you are in music schoo, its "have to" or else...So, I've always whined to Irma, that no way...I have to book some time from my calendar to some stuupid orchestra if Irma doesnt find any alternative composition. But Im sure she will have conclusion for that matter, cause she said that there is new teacher in the house! Grossover-kind of personality who teaches violin! She said that maybe they can arrange something fun and different for me and few other different kind of students. Trio maybe. Never say never...but still, Im not really 'yay' about the idea of carrying cello to lessons and to trio practices and so on...Gaah!

Mmm tiiired I am. Sleep soonish. Early wake up. So help me god, wish me luck.

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

"You never get nothing by being an angel child. You better change your ways and get real wild, 'cause wild women don't worry. Wild women don't have the blues."
Ida Cox, "Wild Women Don't Have the Blues"

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

Sounds of the Soviet Union...I just love the Soviet Union national athem...its beautiful song, so powerfull...makes me miss friends at Hki haha.

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

Yeah, screw you too. Another survey, so sue me, Im bored.

WALLET: Red leather.
HAIR-BRUSH: erm...recular hair-brush. black
TOOTHBRUSH: blue & lilac pepsodent something
JEWELREY WORN DAILY: depends. usually my golden elephant or then few other piece of jewerly.
SOCKS: black.
PILLOW COVER: Vanilla white, silk/satin...mmm
BLANKET: Same as above but with pink flower print.
COFFEE CUP: Colorfull Mickey Mouse Cup which I bought from Firenze, Italy like years ago, from just opened Disney store. Rock.
SUNGLASSES: many. Now I usually use pink, silver or beige mirror thingies...
UNDERWEAR: black satin.
SHOES: beige slip-in's.
NAILPOLISH: Nothing atm, but usually something dark red or bronze thingie.
KEYCHAIN: Huge pink heart, cause your home is where you heart is.
COMPUTER: New for me, old for you.
FAVORITE TOP: mm my new 'Funk you' tshirt.
FAVORITE PANTS: My all seen and totally dead jeans...theyre so comfy!
SHAMPOO CONDITIONER: Pirkka Peach shampoo. It was so cheap and huge bottle, smells nice. I have thing with peach...
SOAP: Random.
PERFUME: Jean Paul Caultier - Classique / Fragile. Dont have any, still. Only Classique as deodorant.
CD IN THE STEREO RIGHT NOW: Joe Hisashi - Summer of Kikujiro OST.
CAR: I dont own one, but I dream about old chevy, Volvo amazon or Opel kapitan...
TELEVISION: something like 15", broken, colors messed up...old as hell.
STEREO: mm Philips.
TELEPHONE: Green thingie.
CELLPHONE: Only Nokia which works.

What a boring survey.

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

Years old poetry of mine from the past. Now online. Finnish only.

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

How long will all this last? Will my dreams ever come true...mm...When Im over top too tired I start to think sad sad things. But hey, duh you dork, there's ah-so-goddamn-sunny day outside, cheer up! Yeah all the time...stop whining! Ok, only thing Im really whining about is that I have to carry that goddamn cello. 9kg! I have already aching neck...Bohoo...;-> There are days, when I really wish that I could have a driving lisence and car.

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

Gosh my windows are dirty. But I dont have anything to clean 'em. Well maybe in next spring, possibly? ;) Sigh Im tired, I made more coffee and Im going to eat some yummy salad and try to get away from this heat which is filling my apartment...zzZzz.

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

LOL!!

You are Dolores Haze a.k.a. Lolita, the seductive and playful nymphet of "Lolita". You like sex and are willing to show people your 12-year-old skills! You are attracted to debonair and handsome men because you are in love with many movie stars. You're not completely pure pedophiliac dream girl, though. You are power-hungry, greedy, and throw tantrums easily but because you eminate an irrestible charm, most people give in to your every whim.
Which Lolita character are you?

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

"Päiväkirjoihin ajatuksiaan töhertävät ihmiset ovat runkkareita." - Charles Bukowski

Shit what a sunny day. Again! Well of course its great to have sun and all that, but you dont have to carry 10kg heavy cello to another side of the city and use 2 bus to get there at afternoon, when city is on move. Full of ppl, no space. I haaate it. I just haaaate it. Im petite and cello bag is almost same size as I am! Oh well after all, Im so happy to meet Irma again, she's cool. Usually our lessons turns to intresting conversations. We dicided that I will have lesson once in every second week (its usually once in a week) and double lessons 2 x 45mins, but today I just have 45mins. Thank God that I dont have to carry that cello daily haha.

I can hardly wait Rakkautta & Anarkiaa festivals. I think I go see more than 11 movies.

Mm...Im tired, why? Well today I didnt sleep too much, again I slept too little. I spend all damnet night writing proper CV for myself. I dont know, I just got idea to do one. It was almost 5am when I got to sleep. Then next thing I remember was that 9am I had to woke up to practise 'Sinua sinua rakastan' and 'Mononoke Hime theme' for saturday. They went well but my voice was like mumbling of mummies from some old B class movie. Äerr...

Tomorrow I have to wake up so early. 7am! I will go to Perno at 10am! Eek. Im sooo excited and in a way quite too neurvous about meeting and spending weekend with that Japanese choir...I hope I dont really screw myself up.

I love autumn, its time when my life is usually most hectic, but its also the time when I take every piece of life inside me what I can! I love running between Turku and Helsinki. I love meeting my friends. I love having hurry while Im at home. I love being impulsive and in a way living the youth I've never lived. ;) I always have that at the end of summer and autumns!

In next wednesday I have this samba and then to Helsinki. Thursday me, Moppi and Antero will go to listen Sibelius Violin Concerto. Yeah! I'll be back at saturday night or sunday morning, to musical rehersals where to pick Malla from trailwaystation! Yeah, did I mention that Malla from Kajaani is coming to visit me! Nicey! :) She will spend couple of days here. Im glad. Then at next weekend from that I will go back to Helsinki to see CMX gig! :) Then at 21.9 is starcamp meet where I go and its possible that after that I'll hang around at Helsinki for bunch of days (like week or so) while Love and Anarchy movie festival! Spending days with movies...Aww Im already so excited that I could scream! Listening Trio Töykeät and enjoying my cup of coffee. Maybe I'll make some refreshing green peach tea and then ready for city. I need to get myself awake...Laters. Oh we

torstaina, elokuuta 22, 2002

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 21, 2002

Yeah baby, we have Xmas at Turku's Ursa! Our new baby is coming home at Friday! Celestron - NexStar 11 GPS! I must say, I need to get some time to go and greet this jewel...

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 21, 2002

Sigh. Im tiiired. Listening Cocco and trying to learn japanese. Why? Well, at friday to sunday I will spend plenty of time with one japanese choir which come to visit in Turku. I hope I dont screw up, I have plenty to ask about everything. Ok, at friday morning I will go to High school of Perno, where they have their first concert. Then I will take them to sight seeing tour to city and at evening we will have some nice time at Harvaluoto where is this one camping place where they will sleep. Saturday they will have another concert (and friday possibly also another one) and at night we have this get-together at Harvaluoto where I will perform finnish 'Sinua sinua rakastan' and japanese anime Mononoke hime theme song :D I've been reading japanese ever since I heard they arrive. Excited! Äerr, gotta go, phone is ringing...

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 21, 2002

maanantaina, elokuuta 19, 2002

Allrighty, still at Helsinki, but on my way to home today. I will have hectic time from tomorrow to...dont remember where, but after that I'll be back at Helsinki, and 7.9 CMX at nosturi Wooooo. Anyway, I dont really have to say this, but its still so goddamn hot!! :P And...Im tired. Nothing more to see here, move along, move along...

maanantaina, elokuuta 19, 2002

lauantaina, elokuuta 17, 2002

What a day, I cooked yunny chinese chiken and then cut Antero's hair. Now where are on our way middle of nowhere with boys co. to observe that little planet that goes by earth tonight =) Yay. So back at 6am I think. Laters.

lauantaina, elokuuta 17, 2002

Headache. At Helsinki. Drinking coffee and soda, its hot. Listening Cocco screaming, rock'n roll baby. Yesterday was pure fun, I can tell! Its hot again...Ok last night we had so much fun! I have pink/red hair now, and all the kids from Ursa have some color in their head! =) This rocks, btw, me likes. Then we went to observatory to Kaivopuisto (wellpark haha) and watched firework finnish championships which was so beautiful! Park was full of people and everything where quite unreal. Then we went to club called wave which was full of salsa and rumba rhytms, drank tequila (and tequila sunrise), cuba libre...laughed and had sooo much fun, walked to Antero's place where we mixed some drinks with his coctail mixer (mombasa, blueberry liquer and Olvi's mineral water...) and testet what we can have from those. I woke up, no hang over, just goddamn tiiired! Antero is picking up Senni and then we cook. Im also going to cut his hair hahaah! :D I dared him. Then at night we all, plus Ursa kids are going to go to observing somewhere...nicey. Anyway...Cocco rocks.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

lauantaina, elokuuta 17, 2002

perjantaina, elokuuta 16, 2002

what a morning. my apartment is like a sauna.

perjantaina, elokuuta 16, 2002

7 things that scare you:
1. Bob
2. When I cant see
3. Unexpected pregnancy
4. Things which I dont remember
5. Dentist
6. Drowning or deep waters
7. The final scene of "The Blair Witch"

7 things that make you laugh:
1. Brittish humor like Monty Python/Smack the pony
2. My friends
3. Sarcasm and black humor in everyday life
4. Things I sometimes do
5. My father - he's hilarious
6. Everything too cute to be true
7. My "nightmares"

7 things you love:
1. People who I call as my friends
2. Nobody, tho he broked my heart
3. Collect colors in my home
4. Rhythm 'n beats
5. Make my little dreams come true
6. Korholanmäki - Sotkamo
7. My instruments - voice, cello

7 things you hate:
1. Angst
2. Repeating
3. People who lie, dont respect me or act something they arent.
4. When my walkman runs out of battery in the middle of some great song
5. Hungover
6. People who wants me to save them
7. Insomnia

7 things you don't understand:
1. Swedish
2. Perl
3. Envy
4. Myself from time to time
5. Rape
6. Violation
7. Haste

7 things on your desk:
1. Cromit actionfigure
2. Picture of Nobody
3. Coffee mug
4. Huge pile of bills and such
5. Red/Blue/Lilac candle
6. Headphones
7. My reading glasses

Now you are:
1. Tired
2. Missing/Longing people
3. Thinking too much
4. On my way to sleep
5. Wearing SwampSoccer WC2002 t-shirt
6. Looking out and watching sunrise
7. Going to go to sleep too late!

7 facts about you:
1. I want to be more impulsive
2. I have a identical twinsister
3. I want to be a samba drummer!
4. Im addicted to Ursa kids again
5. I think I've been horrible to my friends in past few months
6. Im very short even when Im wearing high heels
7. Im blind when I lose my glasses

7 things you plan to do before you die:
1. Make a record(s)
2. Buy all kind of musical instruments and learn to play 'em
3. Listen my own heart and follow my instics
4. Live in a old (factory) apartment with my OWN family
5. To be a bartender
6. Let myself to be in love (Pathetic?)
7. Do things I feel right ones

7 things you can do (well):
1. Music - Sing
2. Sleep
3. Everlasting plans to start to do something
4. Listen
5. Make coffee
6. Dream and long for something / someone / yadiyaa
7. Lazy around

7 things you can't do (well):
1. Take care of myself ;)
2. Use money
3. Draw hands
4. Study
5. Keep contact with my friends when Im stressed/tired
6. Play guitar
7. Speak about my feelings

perjantaina, elokuuta 16, 2002

I really should write down things I do. Now in Tku - tomorrow to Hki. What a weekend it will be, quite hectic, Im sure. But today I decided to join in samba carioca band. Drums. All beat. Uuaa! I want to make my dream come true. Uuaa I've been thinking it like ages, and today I saw they're grooving around Turku's night of arts, and I knew, next wednesday, I will go and say - I wanna join, and I leave over my dead body. Wonder, I've seen their band, its full of guys, no femmes at all...hum. Well...I should go to sleep. So much to tell, so little time, but more later on. I promise. Laters =)

perjantaina, elokuuta 16, 2002

tiistaina, elokuuta 13, 2002

Still at Hki. tomorrow back to Turku, and then at friday -> to Helsinki again. Life's nicey. Oh yeah pretty night and Im full of Mombasa. starcamp jokes are rolling in my head and I truly enjoy to be awake.

tiistaina, elokuuta 13, 2002

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 11, 2002

Ciao! Im back again...starcamp went well, I'll tell you all more later...But Im still alive and at Helsinki atm. Whee. Laters.

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 11, 2002

lauantaina, elokuuta 03, 2002

At Helsinki. What a beautiful morning! :)
Yesterday was quite hectic. Got to train very nicely and Antero where at trailwaystation to pick us up. Then all the action started. We made Foodlists and etc etc til midnight, went to drink one beer and to sleep at 4am when we all where too tired. Im extremely neourvous about this camp, but in a way, really looking forward to it. It was so fun yesterday at Ursa's office meet all the kids I havent seen in ages and I also met Janne after long while. Very nice. Tho, it was hot, like in byrå always and it was hard to think when its hot and everybody laughs and yell and so on all the time around you. I dont really know how I got all those lists done. Now is the hardest part -> to get in to camp place, get all the stuffs from stores, we dont even have the key yet! Also - Today I have to cook for the first time. Im neurvous. Eek. I think I shut my phone down for a week, only check it out at nights and just stay at the kitchen...Ok, we have to go soon...Its already quite hot day. Eek. Wish me luck! :)

lauantaina, elokuuta 03, 2002

perjantaina, elokuuta 02, 2002

I woke up 30min ago. Tired as hell. Didnt slept well, I suffered tummy ache all night long and all my muscles around my body hurts. I had to woke up to pack and do things. Im extremely on moving all the time. 1.5months at north, few days home and then to Cugnus, to sailing where to starcamp! I'll be a cook. I dont know where I really put my head into, but I really look forward to meet all my pals and so on. Eek. I try to figure out is there hot outside, should go to store after this cup of coffee. Then quickly packing, shower and hit the road. Gaah. I hate this. ZZzz. Life on motion, still when I stay at one place, My mind fills up with strange sad silence. Groove baby. Spend all night at irc and it was so fun. Im glad that I was brave and made a comeback to amateur astronomers gang...all new and old friends made me laugh and life is sunny, well it is...and hot, gaah. Laters.

perjantaina, elokuuta 02, 2002

Havent pack anything yet, done nothing. Just jolly irc with ppl who will be at the starcamp. Im so looking forward it. I tell more later on tomorrow before I leave. I was away few days and didnt have time to tell anything about cygnus either...aah running around wildly! Where all these action came from into my life? What did I do? 8) Nighty nite...

perjantaina, elokuuta 02, 2002

torstaina, elokuuta 01, 2002

Back home and tomorrow to Helsinki. Dunno. Shit.

torstaina, elokuuta 01, 2002

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