torstaina, elokuuta 31, 2000

Macy Gray is just so perfect music! I have like eleven candles around my room and this music make everything perfect! And grey a bit cloudy starry sky. I love nights. Im a dancer in the dark. or singer. or both.

I had long chat with my step-mother. I call her every day almost. It's expensive. I really should start to save my money for few movie tickets (for ditd...I wanna see it more than one time. and for selmasongs-cd. soundtrack. gosh. I can hardly wait.) and records...and for few other things...my mobile phone is broken. I should get new one...But Im broke. But I have masterplan! Im not going to tell it to you all...tihih...^_^ Twiggy Twiggy...Pizzicato five kick ass!

torstaina, elokuuta 31, 2000

I feel so bad. I put some very very very blue blues record on now and start to write some very very very blue lyrics. Some tea. canddle light. I want to go to Kajaani. I want to go there so much that it hurts. I enjoy my time there so much. I hate that place but that group of ppl who take care of me what ever happends...what I dont have here. I have great friends, best ppl here, but I dont see them so much. I have soulmates here, Eka...the best woman in the whole world. I admire here as a creature, as a person and I love here so much as a friend and soulmate. I hope that she know that. Oh well...gotta go to make my tea.

torstaina, elokuuta 31, 2000

My mother and step-father will go married in few weeks. Gee. Nice. :)

torstaina, elokuuta 31, 2000

I bought new cd's today! :)) Tori Amos: Boys for Pele - which is great great album. I just love her voice and that piano. And Macy Gray: on how life is...which is very best new wave soul music I have heard in years. I love Macy's strange voice. I met Pippin today and I really enjoyed my time with her. Long time no see. We sitted and chatted in Blanko like hour or so...maybe longer I dont have watch so I dont never know 8) Anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D DANCER IN THE DARK, Lars von Trier's (my big time idol) newest movie, starring Björk!! In 08.09.00! Next week! I can hardly wait! I cant wait! Kiaaah! Hopefully I dont have bad luck and die before I'll see that movie. Tihih. Laters.

torstaina, elokuuta 31, 2000

just a thought: can you think a little kitten with the vacuum cleaner?

when I get this kind of lazy-feelings I can. =_=

torstaina, elokuuta 31, 2000

I woke up at 07.40 or something when my mum came in to my room and shouted:"LOTTA! COFFEE!!"...I was like "oh?" *jump up* "where?" ^_^ That trick always work. I drinked a litre of coffee and took walk with my little doggie. As I promised to my mother last nighty, I should start to clean this whole place before I have to hit the road (read: go to city in bank and such)...Blaah...Some sort of lazyness hitted me like a little rock from the night sky. :P But but but...Maybe I just have to do it. No. yes. No! YES! Fuck...I hate cleaning. I hope that someday ppl find a way to teach theyre pets to clean the whole house.

Laters.

torstaina, elokuuta 31, 2000

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 30, 2000

I really thought that I will never say this: but I just want a piece of normal life...normal easy smooth relationships...I just make everyone feel pain. Im too busy with my life that even my friends start to hate me soon. :P No...really. I want to study. I wanna job. I wanna life. NOW! ;)

But maybe this is what I am. No...not maybe...it is.

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 30, 2000

Im bored. My sister is at her boyfriends place...they have theyre "1.year together" day and theyre having private party at the moment. And my all others in this house went to sleep cause theyre so tired. Im going to start write some lyrics and such after meal. Im starving and I have to cook something fast before I die ;) Laters.

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 30, 2000

Im listening thru all my blues records...Im in half way right now. And reading Jonny Lang's official homepages. Oh one nice suprise I got today! Old friend called to me and were going to meet tomorrow. Nice. Very nice. I havent see her in months! Oh well...now Im going to make some hot coffee for myself. I just love coffee. How can I ever imagine life without it?

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 30, 2000

I woke up moment ago. I feel dizzy. I dont remember when I really slept this well. I remember that I went to bed and closed my eyes and then I remember that I woke up when phone started to ring. Nice. Shame on me that I dont remember my dreams. Cause I have a feeling that I saw nice dreams. Hopefully. No more nightmares, righty? =) Nice warm grey autumn day. Pizzicato five in radio mafia? Whatta? This is a miracle. First time in my life that I hear P5 in finnish radio...whohoo! :D Very nice woke up music for me! Kiah!

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 30, 2000

oh...btw...check Sorb-I-Tol page...there's some exiting news I found sec ago. *blush* Now is good time to really go to sleep. Tihih. Bless.

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 30, 2000

Now Im going to go to sleep. Really. Im death tired after getting no sleep in night train and running around the city all day long after it. My body hurts. I hate traveling (in night trains, I mean. usually I cant help my love for traveling) but I really enjoy my time always when I get there where Im going. Nite! ^_^ Bless! ^_^

...and Laters!

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 30, 2000

Im back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kawaii! I've missed my blogger so much!

Im too tired to go to irc. I promised to visite to meet my friends tonight but Im sooo tired. Tomorrow then.

I have so much to tell about my week in Kajaani, but I'll tell everything later. No I just try to read all those over 300 mails I've get in week when I was gone. Duh. :P Laters.

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 30, 2000

perjantaina, elokuuta 18, 2000

Gosh Im tired! Against my regular plans I went in Night of arts to listen one blues gig and watch free blues brothers movie show. I came back few minute ago and Im death tired. I have to pack my stuff, go to shower and sleep before 5am when I have to woke up, and its already 2am! Im not going to sleep then. Fuck. Im so tired that I could drop down and sleep forever.

So...Im going to leave to Kajaani for a week. Miss me. Im going to come back and then I'll stay with you all many months. what a joy! :P See you. Laters.

perjantaina, elokuuta 18, 2000

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

I hate when I try to call someone and that one dont answer to the phone! Grrrr!

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

Im bored. And lazy! I should really pack my things cause I have to wake up at 5am, but no...8) My mother has a coolest mobilephone tune: Big Spender! That evergreen! :)) I put it in, and it's perrrrfect!

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

Im listening blues and drinking good yummy super dandy cup of fine black coffee. I should pack some things and clean this room, but Im too lazy right now. If someone doctor would have to define my usual state of mind it would be lazyness. 8)

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

Beautiful clouds...fluffy ones. My mobilephone connection is open, but I cant use it, cause I dont have working phone. I hate it! Gsus.

I wait tomorrow. Im going to leave to Kajaani at 06am morningtrain! :)) Yay. One week there, and then back again. I really need coffee.

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

Now Im home again. I went to city and it was raining like hell. And that thunder storm, black sky...(I was lucky that my favorite umberella were at home so I didnt get much wet than usually) ah. So beautiful. Tho now its over, and clouds are moving away and some sunrays color the nature. Very nice. Gotta wash some clothes now. Laters.

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

Whee. I woke up moment ago...like 15min or something...well...there's thunder coming this way! It's coming from the sea! It's here in hour or something! Im drinking coffee and orange juice and I just try to get myself awake. Tomorrow will be very busy day. I have to run to catch a bus soon. And at night there will be "night or arts". And I have to collect all stuff I need in Kajaani and wash clothes and stuff. Cause tomorrow morning Im going to leave this town for a week. Then again, please miss me. ;) It's nice to find that ppl really reads this shit from time to time ;) Im in quite good mood. Just hating that idea that I cant irc right now. Why? you should see my phonebills. My mother banned irc from me for little time, but Im going to do "comeback" flooting when I come home from Kajaani. Anyway! Now I go to enjoy that perfect weather! Thunder! :))) Laters!

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

Cant get no sleep again. I hate this. I havent been able to sleep well in this whole week. Shitty, If I can say. Nighty nite, I try again.

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

Empty head.

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

I've been listening Dinah Washington all night. I love her voice. And those evergreen jazz "standards"...Now Im listening B.B Kings Long Nights. Love this hammond sound in it :)) Anyway! My cello classes are in fridays at 12.45pm! Only thing that is missing right now is cello, but Im going to call to my old friend that have one great beautiful one, and she dont use it...so...? 8) I could borrow it a bit. That teacher is great, a bit hippy person but very very nice one. Im sure our teamwork will run just fine. Im so exited! Im SO exited that I could scream! And Im tired. Im going to go to sleep now...soon...My hair is wet cause I but new color in it few minutes ago. I've been running around all day, every bone in my body ache. Almost every anyway. Oh well...Gotta get this water out from my hair. Laters.

torstaina, elokuuta 17, 2000

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 16, 2000

Im going to go to cello school in hour...eek. how exiting!!!

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 16, 2000

Im not that pessimistic usually. forgive me, im just stressed. now Im going to shut down my 'puter and rest in peace. no humming. nite!

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 16, 2000

I try to get some sleep now. some surfing in hotei's official homepage helped to get gloomy feeling away, but not much. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get sunny but sparkle weather. worldwide in radiomafia. Gotta love this show. I've been listening it since it's started years ago. Tho, now I feel a bit blues, so I maybe turn radio off and start to listen RH-Blues Band's record. Yeah, or...mm...I want some portishead, but I dont have money to buy it. It fit into my 24h mood perfectly. But...I need job. I dont want to stay another (well...3.) year at home. I want somekind of life. I dont want to sit in corner and think. I dont want to use my mothers money all the time, cause she have life too, but she's not able to do nothing but work cause I always spend her money :P I dont want to move into Helsinki, I know that I have 3. place there waiting me if I want to work in them. But I dont want to leave Turku. Theyre going to shut my internet connection if I dont get job. My mobilephone is down, cause I dont have no money to pay bills. My last fish (trier) died when I was in Kajaani cause I dont have money to get water clearning machine in it. I dont have money to get new strings for my guitar, so I cant play with it, If I dont just play with few strings, but it sound too hilarious and then I would laugh too much and die. 8) I dont have money to buy buss-card, so I have to borrow some from my mother all the time. :P Im glad that my father and mum always pay my trainticket to Kajaani...It is too long way to walk...I really really hope that I get job, this situation is pissing me off so much that Im going to loose it! 8) But anyway, in the bottom in happier than in months. ^_^ But in this world almost nothing is free, so I need job. I really _really_ need one. So help me god! Nighty nite 'n Bless.

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 16, 2000

Millennium had nice episode today. I really enjoyed it. Im tired. Im so tired. Im reading my old poems all over again and drinking tea. Tomorrow I have to wake up so early again and I should go to sleep. But...I dont do that. Why? Im tired, I should go to sleep without asking! But I dont do that. Im stupid. 8) Maybe cause these nights when everyone sleep here, it's only time when I can really live my own private life. Im always tired, cause in days I live in other ppl's lifes, and in nights I live my own life. That's why almost every best friend and dear person I know is (amateur-)astronomer or somehow night-person like me. They fit into my world. Anyway. I have cried a lot today. I dont know why. I just start to cry without no reason. I feel so gloomy all the time. Maybe its that time of the month or something. Dunno. I really wait to get into Kajaani again, Virpi's party will be perfect! I cant hardly wait it!!! :)) And night of arts...aah. I love this town in falls.

keskiviikkona, elokuuta 16, 2000

tiistaina, elokuuta 15, 2000

Im bored. I got new hair cut today, which is nice and make me feel sappy. Im listening A.D.G's Supremature cd and singing...I bought nice little neckglase today. It's having text "Pleasure" on it. Ahahah, what a joke. :D I love stupid stuff and this is the best! Oh well...gotta go make some coffee, I need one litre badly ;) Laters.

tiistaina, elokuuta 15, 2000

I woke like...5min ago. I feel dizzy. It's grey day. I think soon there will be rain too. I have some nice espresso here...I saw strage dream...I just remember balloons from it. I like dreams but when I woke up I didnt feel good, so I think it wasnt "nice" dream at all. Dunno. Well I woke up when phone start to ring. And I thought that it was part of the dream til reality hitted me and I jump out from the bed and runned to answer. Now Im listening morning radio, drinking coffee and...well...that's it. 8) I hate to go to shower and then catch bus to city and have a lunch with my mother. Im going to go to find a job. I really really need one. Wish that lucky today. Laters! ^_^

tiistaina, elokuuta 15, 2000

Im like super tired. but still I dont feel like sleeping cause I know if I put my head on pillow I start to think and whole nighty will be up and down jumping around and such. Cause when I start to think I have to write my thoughts down. And one thing is that I always get my major inspirations always when I start to sleep. I hate it. Really. 8)

I made put nice collection of cards (movie poster pictures, comic cards what ever stuff) on my closet door. It's own privat show about stuff I love and color...there are blues brothers movie poster card, clockwork orange card (which is red, very cool), three colors red movie poster card, and bunch of other nice pictures. Im going to collect some very dear movie poster stuff and pictures there. And stuff which include one huge main color: red. 8) I just love red. I could sink into it. Ok. I try to go to sleep now. Early wake up at 07.00am tomorrow (or today how ever you want to put it)!! Gosh! I hate those bloody morning. :P oh well. Nighty nite before rise and shine. Bless.

tiistaina, elokuuta 15, 2000

My tummy hurts. Dunno why. I've been sick all night, I afraid to eat anything, cause my tummy hurts so much. Im listening roots evening from radio mafia. I love monday nights, cause then all night mafia plays jazz and blues. I really really love it. Anyway! I watched nice Clint Eastwood movie tonight and murder call (very good australian tv series, Im almost fanatic fan to it ;) and now I got nothing to do. I dont even feel tired. I listen radio and idle. idle idle idle. When those programmes ends in radio and night classics start (2am-6am classical music every night but not in weekends) I start to listen one great cd my sister bought today: It's raining day / The Scott Walker Story (1967-70) collection cd. I love Walker so much. Brilliant melancolic and powerfull music! Aah...Perfect.

I know I have to asnwer to some mails I got when I was away, but Im too lazy. I just cant make myself to do anything right now. I miss you ali], if you read this *warmhug* my phone is closet, cause no money to pay bills, so I wont get able to read your sms if you have send me some. I try to mail you before I leave to north again in this friday. I'll send you a card soonish! :))

I didnt get place to study, so I'll get job. And then I do my best to start my studies in next autumn. I hate this. Im bored to have these whole years without nothing in them...And Im broke. I need job.

Laters.

tiistaina, elokuuta 15, 2000

maanantaina, elokuuta 14, 2000

Heheeh! I found great site!!! :))
Late Night with Conan O'Brien Fan Purity Test. Very great site! I love Conan O'Brien! I started to watch his show in -95 or something...And after that I've been hooked. Oh well gotta go. My mother is going to go out with doggie and I want to go too...Laters!

maanantaina, elokuuta 14, 2000

Heheh. I made test.

Nice result...eh?

maanantaina, elokuuta 14, 2000

I called to my father and Virpi few minuter ago...They were checking places for Virpi's birthday party and planning them with Yte & Tellu. And also same time they check my cat, how big it is now and etc. It's feeling fine, more sappy and playfull. I can hardly wait to get it here! Chat with dad was great, he was in great mood and we laught a lot. I already miss him and Virpi, tho Im going to see them in few days...Anyway. Laters.

maanantaina, elokuuta 14, 2000

You know this boogie is for real...Im listening Jamiroquai's synkronized record. Gotta love it. I have to call to Virpi soonish. I have so much to tell her about yesterday and such. This day have been nice...I went to city with my sister after her first school day...I didnt sleep well, cause I think so much and then I jump up and write stuff up and went to bed again, and I did that over and over again like 2h before I finally floated into dreamyland. I bought new shirt today! It's lime-green/white and it was just 14FIM! Totally too cheap! It was in one "final sale" place...It's soft, I wear it right now. And I also bought new diary/memo book, cause I write so much in nowadays...In Kajaani I wrote so much that In train I didnt know what to do, cause my book didnt have any space in it 8) It was horrible, I can tell you. I have to put my thoughts, idea's etc. out before I lost 'em or before my brains tilt. Oh well, coffee is ready and I have to cook something before I die. Laters.

maanantaina, elokuuta 14, 2000

I go to sleep now. Nighty nite. Bless.

maanantaina, elokuuta 14, 2000

Im bored. Sister came home, and went to sleep after quick "what happend in starcamp etc." talkshow for me. Im tired about that. Now Im in peace. Whee. Anyway. I was in balcony few minuter ago...its most beautiful nighty now! Dark! Warm! Stars glow brightly, a little lightclouds, sea and one big jewel look-a-like boat floating peacefully to somewhere. So beautiful that I almost started to cry...well almost, not. But hey, My sister bought missing part to our telescope, so if tomorrow night is clear, we'll having observating session here at our balcony! Yay! :D

Tomorrow I have nothing to do. Well, that's not true, I have bunch of things to do, but Im just so lazy and tired. Tired in mental way, not depressed...I just want something action, and I want to get rid of those things what I carry there. I want to get that cello soon so I can play them away. And I start to plan some melodies so I can empty my overloaded head that way too...Hum. Hum. Yeah. Laters.

maanantaina, elokuuta 14, 2000

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 13, 2000

my day was best. Im death tired now, but still Im feeling very good. I woke up in time...almost. And I met A.D.G today and it was perfect! I felt very good about being there and theyre took me in very well. It feels strange. 8) I dont know why! I was home at 17pm so we played almost 5h. Or they played...I just hummed and mumbled some melodies. It was totally inspirating. Were going to meet in few feeks, when Im back from Kajaani again. I have everything on tape (I had my little tape recorder there with me) so I can think melodies and lyricks in peace. But it was SO inspirating! To know that I can maybe (Im not really sure yet did they like me etc.) work with so talented and serious musician which they are! And I laught much, I was very relaxed, I had nice time and I enjoy myself....Those guys were great! (I always stay quiet and watch and listen ppl like in first two meeting, 'till I start to show myself up, speak and such. But in that time I really know about that person more that he/she can imagine. I read ppl's mind as they past me by...) And such...I havent done anything today. I went in long walk with my mother like 15min ago. Now I opened my computer...My sister is coming home, my mother is leaving to get her from trainstation right now in this very second. My sis's school start tomorrow. Muahah. Poor her. ;)) Laters.

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 13, 2000

Nighty nite.

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 13, 2000

Ooh...club music in radio mafia!! Yay...This really helps me go to sleep in proper time eh? :))

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 13, 2000

Buaah. Im tired. I tried to sleep but Sami called me after or a bit before 01am and woke me up, and after that I havent been able to catch any sleep. But I try my best, cause I have to wake up at 08am!!! I have jamming session or what ever you like to call it tomorrow with A.D.G! I'll meet them first time which is very interesting for me. Anyway! Have to catch sleep cause If I dont sleep, I'll loose my voice and mind! 8) So help me god (which doesnt exist, righty?)!! Bless you all! Laters.

sunnuntaina, elokuuta 13, 2000

lauantaina, elokuuta 12, 2000

TVTV! is having Late Night with Conan O’Brien show marathon all day and nighty! It started at 16.00-->pm and its still going on till 00.30! :)) I love it. Great day.

lauantaina, elokuuta 12, 2000

Im listening Pizzicato Five and Im in guite good mood. It's raining. It's grey. I want to go walk, but I dont want to do that alone. I heard so much horrible things in Kajaani, a bunch of scary things what can happend in the streets if you are alone. And well...two young man hit one of my dear friends face all black when she was walking home at nighty. It was horrible to see how she turn to scare dark and so on. She's very sappy usually and after that me and Virpi drive her around the city and went to keep company cause she was so scared. I could kill those two who did that! :(

Yeah. Im too tired to cook. Im too bored to do anything. My phone are shut and it wont work anymore. I dont know what's wrong with it. Oh well...when I win in lottery I'll buy new one and then everyone can call me and I can call some company for me when I have another same kind of saturday here all alone. 8) And...Senni decided to stay in Helsinki. Panu is having his weding party (concrats. He said his word and get wife in last tuesday. Old friend of mine. I cannot believe it.) tonight and Senni want to drink her head full of booze after starcamp, and well...that's it. I'll see her tomorrow. Maybe. Laters.

lauantaina, elokuuta 12, 2000

It's rainy. Im decide to make some new layot and desing to my pages and Im starting to make it today, cause I dont have anything better to do. I just hate, that every picture I have is me with black hair. Its not me anymore. So...I have to scan and put new pics here asap. Laters.

lauantaina, elokuuta 12, 2000

I woke up at 12.50pm something when Virpi (my fathers "wife") called me. I watched startrek deepspace 9 and now I start to make coffee. Im still half asleep. Maybe cause I have so much tired feelings inside my head. Dunno. Im going to meet A.D.G tomorrow, and I have no idea how Im going to go in theyre training place, cause when mother left me here, she forgot to give me any money! I just have 4FIM of money and Im not going to walk in Raisio! 8) I have to be there at 12am in sunday (tomorrow) and Im having little panic. ;) I have "map" so I maybe find my way there, but I dont know Raisio, I just know where my granparents live. It's totally strange place for me. My mother use to born and live her youth there...Maybe I just have to shout to my mother "HELP, you were the one who left me here without any money after 5. weeks of traveling!!!!" but but...strange thing is that I've never saw anybody from A.D.G in "real life", face to face...eek ;) oh well...Laters.

lauantaina, elokuuta 12, 2000

my plan was to write a lot about yesterday and about all great things I saw and enjoy in my trip. But I cant get no sleep and Im like in trance. Im too tired. two nights without sleep, no good for me. Oh well...tomorrow then. Now --> Own bed. Blesss!!!!

lauantaina, elokuuta 12, 2000

PPG Delta plane! Wow coolest! :))

lauantaina, elokuuta 12, 2000

perjantaina, elokuuta 11, 2000

What's your pokéname? Mine is:

Mewmander
Profile
You live in the arctic wastes of Siberia, and your diet consists mostly of berries, twigs and beer.
Combat Characteristics
You can breathe rocks. You can spit acid. You can breathe acid. You can shoot lightning.
Natural Enemies
Your natural enemy is Poliwhirl.

How jolly! :))

perjantaina, elokuuta 11, 2000

Im here! Im back in Turku! Im sitting front of my own computer, reading my own emails, eating noodles from my own grey noodles-cup, listening silence inside my head, Im all alone here now. Sister is in Helsinki and others are in summer cabin. Me, alone. Hate it, right now. Im too tired, I havent sleep in one day, cause I got to get in to train at 05->am in last morning. And that's why I decided to stay awake, so I wont miss it. and I didnt, cause now Im here. But im so tired that every bone in my body ache...oh well, I write more later...gotta do few things...

perjantaina, elokuuta 11, 2000

tiistaina, elokuuta 08, 2000

Im still here in north. I just stay longer and longer and leaving feels bad. Im going to travel back to Turku in friday. I've been here like 5 weeks now. And at home I'll stay one week, my cello lessons start and other things I have to do and then I travel back to Kajaani to party my fathers wife's 30's birthday (i'll stay one weekend) and then back to Turku, and next time I'll visite my father will be Xmas, maybe. Horrible. Cause I love to be here. Oh well...I missed Cygnus and starcamp, but I dont feel bad about it. In 2 weeks I'll get my black catty home. Whee. And ok, I miss my own computer and those 600 e-mail what I've been reseaving same time when i've been here...and I have to read them when I get back. Lots of work. Im again here in Iisalmi. My fathers mother had her 70's birthday today and we were there. Now Im at my uncles place in contry. I've spend lot's of time in woods, getting a litres of huge blueberries, relaxing and listening silence. I've been also in weddings, in clubs, partying, singing in studio, having a lots of fun, helping friends in home moving and etc. I'll miss my time here. It's been so relaxing and inspirating for me. Anyway, gotta go, were have to drive one hour to Kajaani, and Im too tired to thing anything anymore. Hey!!!! I'LL BE BACK SOOOOOON! Wait me! Im there in 4 days! Miss me.

tiistaina, elokuuta 08, 2000

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