keskiviikkona, toukokuuta 31, 2000

Im going to go to sleep now. wish me luck.

keskiviikkona, toukokuuta 31, 2000

Im listening one drum'n bass program from radio mafia. I love it. I love tuesday night's! 'cause every week in tuesday night mafia have bunch of good dj's with theyre every-week shows on air! Aah. Gotta love it. Tomorrow I have early wake up. I have to be in music school at 10am. mm aah some jazzy music...Im floating...take me higher! I love Giller Petersons worldwide! Hope that tonight he'll play something groovy! This is one of my all time favorite radio shows.

keskiviikkona, toukokuuta 31, 2000

tiistaina, toukokuuta 30, 2000

Wow. Huge luffy clouds! :))

ARGH!
I want to scream. I want to. I cant.

Im listening Massive attack right now...song called Dissolved girl.
My favorite...
shame just a shame/ passion overrated anyway/ say, say my name/ need a little love to ease the pain.

tiistaina, toukokuuta 30, 2000

I put my mirror in another place. It was on the wall which is front of my window. I didnt like it there, so I changed. And now on that place were my mirror was is great huge poster which is burst of colors! It make me happy always when I stare it. and It has huge print in it which says "Free your mind"...muahah. Very hippy 70's, but I dont just care. Do you care?

Im still here cleaning this mess. Im soOo lazy today. And I should practise few songs, cause I have test tomorrow. I try to get play violin-cello again. I use to play it. And I love it more than life. I dont even know why I was stupid back then when I stoped playing. I also try to get in Jazz/Pop singing lessons. I sing a lot, and I want hour or two in week when I can sing and no one is saying "shut up". And in those test I have to make few test, sing one song they make me sing (with out notes.) and one I've decided myself. Blah. Boring. I've done those test few times in my life, and Im always very neurvous. Like now. Anyway. Laters. Coffee.

tiistaina, toukokuuta 30, 2000

Plaah. My dog woke me up 07:45am today! Argh. I took little walk with her and went back to sleep. Then I went to city have lunch with my mother. Now Im back. And Im tired. I dont know why Im this tired. Its cold but somehow hot weather. I think theres some thunder in the air cause Im always half asleep all day when its that kind of weather...Zzzz. Have to finish my room. Im still cleaning it. I started it last saturday...hahah. U should see it now. Its very very messy! :)) Mm. Laters!

tiistaina, toukokuuta 30, 2000

I watched that spanish movie 'La ardilla roja' hour ago. I recorded it last night. It has same director (Julio Medem) than 'Lovers of north pole' starring (tadah) Fele Martínez. It's very prased movie. Im going to see it in theaher when it come in Turku. They filmed it in Finland (Lapland)! Neat! ;) Im having somekind of spanish movie invation here ;)) anyway... That La ardilla roja was great. It have great script, its very very strange but somehow after all you're thinking that it make sense. Its very intensive and it was true what one tv magazine said...it has a bit same kind of mood than vertigo has. This movie won a lot of prices around the world in 1993, and its preview show was in Cannes...aah. I just love movies.

tiistaina, toukokuuta 30, 2000

maanantaina, toukokuuta 29, 2000

Im still tired. I was in city with my sister and her friend. I went in to little second-hand shop and I found few very cool almost new t-shirts! Theyre very funky! One japan-look of black shirt cost just 10 FIM! and one orange shirt cost 8 FIM! Like tooooo cheap! And theyre both almost new! I also found Simone de Beauvoir's book 'Le deuxième sexe et II'. Great! :))

My back hurt. Dunno why.

Aaa. Foo Fighters learn to fly is on radio! Im feeling better all the time. My sister is going to spend this night in her boyfriends place. So Im going to have peace. I got internet phone-bill today. Im doomed. :(

Someone...chear me up somehow.

maanantaina, toukokuuta 29, 2000

Red hot chilli peppers...under the bridge. Ooo. I dont know why, but always when I hear this I start to miss Säde.

maanantaina, toukokuuta 29, 2000

Woah! Brainstorm is in radio, live! Theyre going to have a concert in Helsinki tomorrow! Shame! I really want to go! They were great in Eurovision songcontest! but I dont have money...snif.

My dog woke me up moment ago. And I was almost half asleep when I went out with her. I was sooo tired. and Im still that tired 8) Now she's sleeping there and looking very happy, and I just feel terrible tired. And I know that I cant go sleep again, I have thing to do. But If she would have kept her little furry mouth shut I would be still sleeping, and my alarm clock would woke me up in 15mins. mm Maybe I just have to make some coffee and listen Björks I miss you. It always wake me up and load me with energy. ^_^

maanantaina, toukokuuta 29, 2000

Yep. nighty nite, I go to sleep...or something.

maanantaina, toukokuuta 29, 2000

im still awake. I try to find some information about actor Fele Martínez who was Chema in Thesis. I found a lot information from IMDb. He won Goya (kinda of spanish oscar) from his role in Thesis (a.k.a. Tesis, Snuff) and it was his first movie ever! After it he's done a lot movies. I gotta find 'em somewhere and watch.

maanantaina, toukokuuta 29, 2000

mm Stargate was ok. I like Ra in it. Same actor than in crying game which is _very_ brilliant movie. Sami called me today. It was nice suprise.
I was -this- close to have a total minds overload just before he called. After our little chat I was calm. He always give me that effect. Calm me down.

I hate that Im always there when someone call me. But when I need someone I notice im all alone. Maybe I have too warm heart. hah. It just...well...I hate when ppl talk about friendship we suppose to have, and then when I really need a friend I noticed that it was just a bullshit. Some ppl just use me when they need me then leave me 'til they need me again. They take and give nothing back. When I start to speak about it they just start a huge hulabaloo about it and promise that when they do that again I have to kick 'em so they'll learn to leave it away. mm...dunno why I use "them", when I speak about one or few person. ooh...*sigh* One person leaved me all alone, and I know that someday he'll call me again and ask my friendship and Im there again. Im always there for my friends.

Blaah sorry about my babling. I suppose to talk about weather, right? ooh Its nice half cloudy night here...mm...yes...and warm...huh?

*tihih* ^_^

Bless.

maanantaina, toukokuuta 29, 2000

sunnuntaina, toukokuuta 28, 2000

I changed my rooms look again. Now it's ok. It takes a lot of powers. Im not super woman. like one of my dear friend say last night in his email for me: "You should have all the furniture with wheels! :) So you'll be able to roll it around your room! :D" well...I have wheels under my very cool computer table. so I just push it and tadah its in another side of my room. ^_^

Im looking out of the window, I put my computer table close to it, so i can see out all the time. Clouds are orange. Gotta love it. Im listening very melankolic music here. Portishead's all mine. I watched movie with my sister today. I love spanish movies and this movie is one of the best ones. 'Tesis'. Its very scary movie somehow, very clever script and good characters. I love Chema, who's very geek guy. I've seen this movie many times but its always very intensive and scary. =) Stargate (the movie) starts in any minute. Im going to watch it and I record another movie which on same time. Its called 'La ardilla roja' and its made in spain 1993. Its has same kind of mood than Hitchcock's Vertigo. Yay!

sunnuntaina, toukokuuta 28, 2000

Plaah. I woke up moment ago. My sister came home at 1am something. I was sleeping, I was planning to take little nap, I had alarm clock on. Put somehow I missed it. I was too tired and my sister woke me up like hour before my alarm clock. And then I went back to sleep. She haves a huge hang over now. They party in the boat trip with her friends. :P

Im sad that I didnt wake up. Its my saturday night tradition to watch mtv at 4-7am when they show all kind of good music like portishead, björk, laurent garnier, air, massive attack, dimitri from paris etc...all kind of GOOD underground / alternative videos. And now I missed it. Only night when mtv play good music. Plaah. Well anyway. Futurama starts in any minute now. Laters.

sunnuntaina, toukokuuta 28, 2000

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

Im tired! My room haves new look now (again.) and I spend all day carrying stuff to new places...my back hurts cause I carry 40l heavy aquarium! me! I cant even myself believe it! it's crazy!

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

I dont usually like this kind of music...radio is on and theyre playing 'thong song' from SisQo (OR something like that, I dont remember his name.) and its well...its fun song. I like that *piip* sond in it. 8) and those violins. Always when I hear it, it stays in my head and I hear it 24h...somehow I HATE IT! ^_^ and that music video is just so over hilarious.

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

Its great day! clear sky! Clock is 12:45 and I have to wait an hour 'till Star Trek is on tv! Plaah...If I go city today I gotta do shower and stuff before it. Gotta hurry. Cause I dont know when it ends. They usually party all day. mmm let's think about that going there again. I have to make coffee, it brights my brains.

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

Im awake. Planning to join street party. Dunno yet, I would love to go but Im death tired and I have little headache. uh. You dont know what street party is...well its when bunch of people take over some street and dance like hell. :) sound fun? well it sure is super! :))

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

Im going to sleep now. Tomorrow (or today) is streetparty. Im going to go there, maybe. *yawn* Bless.

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

I gotta go sleep soon. my sis is awake and soon se leave me alone and will spend a fun time in Tallinna...

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

sun is rising.

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

woah. is great sky...its dark, soft blue with a sparkle of green and yellow in it...dark purple clouds... I just love summer nights.

lauantaina, toukokuuta 27, 2000

perjantaina, toukokuuta 26, 2000

Im home finally! I bough summer skirt! I just have black black black everywhere, this is pink/red! super! I'll make some coffee...

perjantaina, toukokuuta 26, 2000

wohoo. im in surf city. =) net cafe in Turku. fun.

perjantaina, toukokuuta 26, 2000

wow. that wind outside...S t o r m y! :))
Radio is on...Foo Fighters and learn to fly. Im in great mood!

perjantaina, toukokuuta 26, 2000

double espresso...gotta wake up. Im not going to go Kajaani. Im too stressed and I dont have time to spend any time there. It very sad cause I would love to go there, meet Malla on etc. I should call her and tell Im not going to come. :( She'll be very unhappy about that news. Yep. Im going to go to city again today, I have some important things to do. Its "torni-ilta" today, which means that Im going to go to observatory meet friends. Its rainy and windy and very very grey. Hopefully someone will come there, 'cause I dont have key (my sister keep it) and I dont want to stand under rainy sky waiting someone to open the door for me.

another cup of espresso. yummy.

perjantaina, toukokuuta 26, 2000

Heheh...Speed 1 is very nice action movie. I like to just sit on the sofa and watch movie and I dont have to think about anything...just...stare. Its like floating thru whole movie and only last 2mins are interesting...hehehe. I've always thought that Keanu was 'cool' in Matrix...you know cool. Not like "ekk-cute-cool". Just 'cool'. Trinity was way too cool in matrix. I can hardly wait part 2. Well after all in tonights movie Keanu was like...hot. ;)

0_0

mm anyway! Im off to sleep! BlesZzzz...

perjantaina, toukokuuta 26, 2000

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

Im idling in IRC now...and reading book about java code with another eye. soon Im going to go off to watch movie from tv. Speed! Keanu Reeves! Wohoo! ^_^

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

I need coffee. I decided to get web cam! My uncle said that he could get one for me someday. Then I'll put it photo my aquarium 24h and from time to time I snap a one pic were Im into too 8) heheh no...just planning...

Sky is grey. It was kinda warm day today. No its very grey and a bit cold. Im tired, I should work but...noooo...:P I feel gloomy, my room is mess and Im too lazy to clean it. Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll wake up early, clean my room, go to city and get new fish in my aquarium or something else...like...ooh If its sunny Im going to go to sit somewhere near Aura-river and just idle all sunny day. or then not. BUHUU. boring. I need some action!

no action here!

Duh.

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

Yep. Im back home, finally! I returned about 15mins ago. Im death tired. My sister always make me run around and it takes a lot energy off from me...I went to one toyshop and the had sold 3 soap bubble system/ 10mk! Very cheap! I've been blowing bubbles all day now...I also find old movie poster from 60's! One old bookshop sells real movie posters from 50's-70's theyre fine quality and theyre really old ones! Very retro...this one I got is great. its black / red. Its about movie called 'Mustaa valkoisella' and it was big thing at 60's here in finland. Its directed by Jörn Donner, and it had few nude shots that made a media and ppl very confused back then...Dunno. anyway poster looks great! I also bought tiny espresso glass. it was cheap and I've been planning to get one and it was last one so I had to get it. Its coolest. mm someone needs phone so I'll go off...laters.

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

uh. I've been too much online in this morning...now I gotta run to shower and *puf* to city. Eek...hurry!

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

Uh, my mother woke me up 30mins ago. Duh! Her magic words was "Lotta, I made coffee for you." and then I opened my eyes like "whee" with low tired voice. ^_^ Its foggy! I cant see forrest from my window, its usually there. now there's just fog everywhere! :)) I have busy day again. Im quite stressed again. I hate stress. I hate it! It make my heart beat faster, it make me angry and I cant enjoy every moment cause I just think will my time last and when I do that and that. I fucking hate this. I should travel to Kajaani today, but I'll do it tomorrow maybe. I dont even have tickets yet and no idea about when plain leaves and such. and I know that they have planned a lot for me, and that's make me stressed too cause I know that I have to get back too soon! Its horrible! I like go there and say hi and then Im on my way back to Turku. I have those test to music school next week (im going to start play violin-cello again and pop / jazz singing-lessons) and I have to learn we songs and stuff like that. Test are in next wednesday so I have to be back in tuesday. 5 days, a lot of action and hurry. Oh god...*sigh* I dont even know yet when my job start. I hate this hulabaloo! I hate this. :P anyway...

wow. clouds let one sun ray thru. And it hits me, coolest! one yellow sun ray...beautiful. And other nature is grey. Windy.

I'll make some green tea and think about something else than my plans. I'll hide my calendar and cook something yummy...Bless.

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

wow! I found another interesting test from web! what's your true color - test. well result was very interesting indeed! my favorite color is red, I have it everywere, I paint my walls with it and etc! and result was RED! :)) This is what they said [ yet I dont believe in silly test, but they give a lot of fun from time to time ]:

Your color is RED, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. People ruled by red trust their feelings more than their rational judgment, and are known to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice. Reds don't wait around for people to make decisions. They dive right in. Quite the romantic, you listen closely to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in all that you do, you won't be satisfied. You may pour all of your energy into the projects you tackle, but your impulsive nature means your passions might shift as frequently as the wind. This is why some Reds have trouble with commitment. Overall, it's great to be Red. No one lives life more completely than you.

aah, its sounds me, doesnt it? ;)
Aaargh! NOW im going to go to sleep! Duh! really, watch me...im going off...baibai! Hopefully I will see great action dreams tonight!

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

I stuck online...didnt go to sleep yet, cause I found hilarious personality test!
- ant test! Im angry ant! this is what they said:

You are a ERDANT - ANGRY ANT PURPLE
You are a combination of the Queenant, the Amazonant and the Bullant. You make minced meat of anyone who crosses your path when you are trying to get a job done. You are so big even Godzilla is scared to cross your turf. Go back to your own purple patch.

Hahah! :))

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

I'll get money at 26.5...I. not going to get much cause I have to pay some bills and such. *swearing* But I have to let myself to get me something...I was thinking to get new cd! And I was thinking to get it from Boxman cause I know that I can find we records I would love to hate from local shops never...Im surfing in boxman right now...

ok...I was searching julie ruin from there but they dont have any! sucks! :(( They had bikini kill but I think I order 'em later. So! I decided to order Being John Malkovich soundtrack and Björk's Joga cd-single (include sod off and so broken...whee and of course joga, and mix from it.) I've been looking both of those cd's from local cd-shops but they dont have 'em and when I ask when they perhaps decide to order them, they dont know answer just say something "well, lets see..." sucks. But know I'll have 'em straigh here! super! I have to wait like 1-2 weeks. and more I quess, boxman sucks that way.

well. now. Im off to sleep. its early morning, there's butterfly flying around my little night-light. cute :P Bless!

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

here I sit. I float. Around.
Whee. Tomorrow Im going to blown some soap bubbles! I know one great toyshop downtown and Im going to get there few soap bubble system...and then Im going to go around and blown bubbles! I love soap bubbles! I really really love 'em! Those colors in them when sun ray hits them. The way they float with the wind...slowly and peacefully.

torstaina, toukokuuta 25, 2000

keskiviikkona, toukokuuta 24, 2000

Im tired.
I have hot cup of coffee here and...silence. Im bored. ^_^
Im going to code tonight. Make something new to my pages and stuff. Then Im going to study some serious java. I love this light in my room. I put my sister old Xmas light collection to my wall and now I have 50 little pink, red, blue etc light here...so sassy! anyway. Gotta go now. Bless!

keskiviikkona, toukokuuta 24, 2000

Ekk! I woke up while ago. Not fun.

keskiviikkona, toukokuuta 24, 2000

Im going to go and have some serious dream-action now...Zzzzz.

keskiviikkona, toukokuuta 24, 2000

tiistaina, toukokuuta 23, 2000

who reads this? I just keep writing this bullshit here and hahah...mm...well..

it great weather. I maybe go and take a walk or something. I would love to do it, but I scare so much alone thesedays. I scare every shadow in the dark...still I always go and see what's behind there...Rapist maybe...ghost?

Violently happy cause I love you. Violently happy, your not here.
-Björk (Violently happy from cd Debud)

Dont leave me alone. I scare darkness so much. Heal my weak suffer endless anger 'n such. I play dead...its stops the hurting.

mm...nice nighty. Im talking with human I love very much and I miss all those ppl who have a part in my heart. I drink new tea. I bought it today. It taste so sweet. Ooo...sky is full of colors. sun is down and night time is here. Good that Im not vampire cause Im too lazy not to go out and find a human who I could bite. Bless.

tiistaina, toukokuuta 23, 2000

Im redhead again. this color kick ass. I feel so pepper...mm...this lollipop I eat now...it taste horrible. what a day. gosh.

tiistaina, toukokuuta 23, 2000

Ooh. I maybe get job...it will be (maybe) full time at fall. Whee great great. I leave to Kajaani maybe in thursday or friday. I really want to meet my father and his "wife" (theyre not married. I love both of 'em very much) and other dear and close ppl to me. I dont visit there much...cause Kajaani is so far away. Last time I was there...mmm about 2 months ago maybe. Im going to meet Malla too. its Kainuun jazz spring there so Im going to go around hear some very serious super jamming! ^_^ I cant hardly wait!

I got haircut today...and I bought new color...its going to be so pepper! Kawaiiii! and I bought new hat too. I've been planning to get it like ages and now I have it! Its so cute and it fit so well and I look like little teddybear...so sweet. Im going to wear it 24h ;) I also got new oil-pastels and huge papers! they were like 5mk couple and theyre huge! I dont remember that papers name but its great! and expensive...but Im glad that I know person who sell me everything so cheap! Im happy about that. wellwellwell...Senni is at theather with her classmates. I would love to join them, but...hum. Well thats life. Gotta go coding some serious shit. Duh. Laters. Bless!

tiistaina, toukokuuta 23, 2000

I woke up like about 15mins ago. I want to go sleep again. But I cant. I have to wake up...I go get haircut today, maybe, not sure yet. Im not that kind of person who hugs the trees. but...I roar with the ocean, I hum with the wind. Last night I cried with the rain and now I float with the fog. Bless.

tiistaina, toukokuuta 23, 2000

maanantaina, toukokuuta 22, 2000

It's foggy outside and rainy. its so beautiful that I could almost cry. I can see sea here, and fog float from there to here. I painted new painting few hours ago. It's quite big. that paper is about 1m x 1m. My fingers hurts cause I use oil-pastels and I spread color around the paper with my hand and fingers. it's quite messy, but after everything is done it looks fine and it has a soul. I started this paiting in friday. I went to spend weekend to summer-house (cabin what ever) and I enjoyed sea and peace and though things in my head. And now Im home, I put 'em on paper with colors and moods. And I like this result. I dont usually like my paintings at all. I hate them, and I put them spend time with other shit in garbage can, 'till mum saves them. or Senni.

Anyway...My room is mess. Someone said that messy room means that the one who's lives there is very creative person. hahah. Dunno about that. Im tired. Im so tired. I dont feel sleepy but Im death tired. Last week I slept 21h in one "night". but It was after my job interview. I was sure that Im not going to get that place so I was a bit down. well...Im going to go there again tomorrow! They said that they really want me to work. Im not sure yet, will I get da place, but tomorrow we talk about it. Im not going to tell what place it is, yet, but Im going to tell everything about it IF I get it!! In tuesday Im going to travel to Kajaani to meet my father and ppl I miss. I dont know how long I'll stay there. I would love to spend like 2-3 weeks there. But I afraid that I have like 4-7 days. and If I get that job I maybe even cant go. Uhh. I hate this. Rush. Oooo...so nice weather. I miss my friends (I dont say names) so much. I always miss someone and I hate it. That gloomy feeling inside...it kills. I would love to have someone close to me right now, chatting or just spending some silent time...walking on streets thru fog...listening music...hahah I sounds so stupid right now, forgive me. (^_^) Im listening Kingston Wall right now. I really really LOVE this record. Thanks to dear ekhowl lending me this cd!

Everything is so fine it could be don't let your mind take you in misery all the feelins you're not so pleased they're just to take you to sweet harmony

Im going to do some serious floating now. Bless!

maanantaina, toukokuuta 22, 2000

Yay! Im so tired! But I dont care! cause last night Lars von Trier won Palme d'Or and Björk won best actress price! I've been watching tv all night and recording every news I found from 30 television channels that I can watch. and like 10 minute after that party was over in cannes my mailbox was flooded by other "fans" who found press pictures and news around web...so...its been very fun. I decided that I put my Lars von Trier site online someday, cause I have so much stuff about his movies inside my computer, I gotta put 'em somewhere 8) its hot day. Im not going to go out. cause Im all burned by da sun anyway. I have to heal my skin before Im going to burn myself again...DuH! :)) gotta go...Bless.

maanantaina, toukokuuta 22, 2000

well well well...this is something so cool new thing I find from web tonight and im so into new cool things so I had to get one to myself too. and...well I dont know who read this, and somehow...I dont very much care. but I have some much inside my mind all the time, that MAYBE even its good that I have some place to write them down, before I get total mind overload. and please...try not to care about my worse english...ah. Bless.

maanantaina, toukokuuta 22, 2000

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